it’s a humble feeling, the fact that i can finally be certain about the woman looking back at me. i am awake, and my God, it has not always been this way. here i am, twenty seven. here i am, messy and soft and afraid of all the right things.
if i’m being completely honest, for the entirety of my life i have never really felt smart enough or bold enough or outgoing enough. all my life i’ve hunted for an ounce of competitive spirit but always came up so empty handed. i guess that’s because i like to think we’re all on the same team.
and you know what? i have always felt really quirky. the type of human who is happiest when telling jokes and handing people poems. i wasn’t always proud of that, but i am now. i have always wandered back into my strange quirky light one way or another, but i can tell you one thing, it’s not when the sun is shining and things go as planned.
i have always been invited back to who i am through big pain and change and uncertainty. because the truth is that i’ve never come to terms with my scars in the sparkly shiny moments. i’ve never been able to stand on my tip toes and successfully reach my potential when i was comfortable.
it’s a humble feeling, the fact that i finally realized i love the woman looking back at me best during the storms, navigating through my dark. because i’m the weird quirky girl that can be hurting and scared and unsure, but still point out the sunset.